You’ve heard it before: “If you just focus on him or her, then you’ve got some co-dependency issues..”

Well, with the above riff by Jason Silva and what I write below, maybe it’s time for a new expanded perspective, where there is no one-sized-fits-all seemingly “bad” label for the intense or driven pursuit of how you feel about someone, especially when you are willing to hold-space for them in a challenge-support / pain-pleasure dynamic.

In other words, the tango between giving it our ALL while Present with our loved one (being our best on all levels), and staying aware of just how much of that focused-goodness is too much, is a delicate dance.

Commitment of focus, of certain intimate-values, of course depends on the ‘label’ & ‘boundaries’ two people have agreed to assign to themselves.

If it’s an open, casual-dating label, no pressure.. we should hop all around like the bunny-making bad asses we are.

In short, oftentimes persistent passion to do ‘Whatever It Takes’ to ‘turn this car around’ (think lyrics of song, Shattered by O..A.R.) has been mutated into a vice of ‘dependency’ whose greatest dark synonyms are: heart, drive, determination— all cues, in this hypersensitive / vigilant society, that form into the sensationalizing of ‘aggressiveness.’

Sad, just sad… time to revisit some 80’s movies, people. Er, as in this day and age, John Cusack’s character’s would be seen as co-dependent, or even an axe-wielding stalker.

by Barry Goss, co-founder M4 Research, publisher of Rsky.TV