The scene above, from the 1999 film Instinct, plays out nicely what is explained here [ paraphrased from a teacher who specializes in addiction recovery ]:

Really, it is about “attempting to control.” Control is somewhat of an illusion.

We try to control what people think of us, our environments, our spouse, and our children. We are like a director who wants to run the whole show.

If everyone would do as we wish the show would be great.

But what happens? Well, the world doesn’t always cooperate. So we exert ourselves more by using kindness or meanness to get them to change.

We are a victim of the delusion that we can get what we want out of life if only we manage well.